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Kintsugi for Humans
“Start again.”
This is a phrase nobody wants to hear. Not in school. Not in work. Not in finding love. Not in trying to start a family. Not in saving money. Not in trying to achieve a goal. Not in most aspects of life.
When it comes to loss, there is life before, and there is life after.
Starting again is not a daily thing, a weekly thing, or a yearly thing. You can’t add it to your bullet journal or schedule it in your calendar. After a significant loss, it is more often than not a moment by moment decision to live that you choose over and over again.
I remember after our Dad died, none of us could really remember anything. For at least a few months, our short term memory was inhibited. We’d forget basic things: conversations we had, emails we sent, payments we made. I’d put milk in the pantry and ground coffee in the fridge. I’d leave the water running, the stove on, the clothes in the washer. Because your mind just, goes. It keeps you alive but not living.
Contrary to what people say, life does not move you forward. Life itself moves forward, but to move along with it requires your consent.
The decision to start again is rarely easy. Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like a decision. Sometimes it’s something that good friends and family force you to do ––and you should let them…
